Kim Anami is a holistic sex and relationship coach.
In the land of female sexuality, there are a few holy grails: vaginal orgasms, multiple orgasms, ejaculation… According to some, these are mythical, elusive experiences. But as a holistic sex coach, I say they are key to a woman’s well-being, and every woman can have them.
Many women I’ve spoken with assume that multiple orgasms involve repetition, i.e. several clitoral orgasms in a row. And that’s one option. But there’s more to it than that because there are several different kinds of orgasms to be had. A woman can mix and match by having a clitoral orgasm, a few G-Spot orgasms, and a cervical orgasm—or three, all in one session.
All of these orgasms have different emotional and physical qualities that can be a part of your daily sexual diet. So how do you know which types you’ve experienced and how to master the rest? Let’s review the four most essential orgasms:
1. THE CLITORAL ORGASM
The clitoral orgasm is the most well-known. I refer to it as “the appetizer.” Stimulating the clitoris helps to get a woman’s arousal going. Clitoral orgasms are often also the fastest. Light, circular touches using a finger, tongue, or sex toy directly on the clitoris will bring a woman over the edge. The clitoral orgasm feels like a surge of pleasure in the vagina, originating from the clitoris, and is accompanied by involuntary pelvic contractions.
These orgasms are light and fun—but they don’t need to end there. A clitoral climax helps open you up to deeper—like, cervix deep—and more profound pleasures to come.
2. THE G-SPOT ORGASM
The G-Spot orgasm is a little deeper and much sought after. The G-Spot is located 1-2 inches inside the vagina, on the anterior wall. When you place your fingers inside, feel for a curve with a ridged surface—then you’ve found the spot. Many women say they’ve never experienced a G-Spot orgasm, and that makes sense; they tend to require openness, trust, and a willingness to let someone inside, physically and energetically.
Instead of the predictable climb and descent of clitoral orgasms, G-Spot orgasms feel more like waves that keep on, well, coming. Surges of pleasure spread throughout your entire body, starting from inside of the vagina. Women often have deep emotional releases accompanying these orgasms—tears, laughter, sadness. This is all normal and good. You can purge emotions that have been stored in the vaginal tissue and release them. Using two fingers in a come-hither motion, flicking them toward the G-Spot area for 10-30 minutes, will bring on these orgasms. They require some sexual stamina.
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3. FEMALE EJACULATION
Female ejaculation, or “squirting,” is one of the more storied female orgasmic experiences. Sometimes the trajectory is as intense as the name makes it sound and there is enough fluid to fill up a cup (I once met a woman who could hit the wall from feet away). Other times, it’s just a small amount of milky fluid that emerges. You know you are in ejaculation territory when you feel like you have to urinate. To get there, instead of holding back, let it go.
For this reason, lots of people have hypothesized that the liquid released during female ejaculation is urine. The answer is that it’s not entirely urine … but it’s not entirely not urine. Researchers who’ve studied female ejaculate have found that there are actually two types: one is chemically similar to urine and the other contains PSA or prostate specific antigen produced by the Skene glands, the female counterpart to the prostate.
Ejaculation can feel like an intense, emotional release. Many women say they feel high and happy afterwards. But unlike other female orgasms, this one is easy to spot because there’s a physical marker. You’ll know it when you see it.
4. THE CERVICAL ORGASM
The cervical orgasm is the queen of all female orgasms. In Taoist sexology, the cervix is known as the reflexology point for the heart. It is also the start of an energy pathway that leads all the way up to the crown chakra, which is connected to the vagus nerve, often referred to as the “spiritual nerve.” Women tend to experience a profound feeling of peace, ecstasy, and joy during cervical orgasms. They are full-body, meaning the sensations that are often localized at your genitals spread throughout the entire body.
The cervix, which connects the vagina with the uturus, is best accessed in positions like missionary with a woman’s legs up over her shoulders. Warm up in other sexual positions first, and then start to slowly stimulate the cervix, building up intensity. Focus on relaxing into the sensations. You’ll know you’re nearing a cervical orgasm territory when you feel intense emotions—euphoria, tears, sadness, bliss. I often say that a woman’s heart needs to be open to access cervical orgasms. They touch a deep, vulnerable place and don’t often occur in situations when you feel guarded or compartmentalized.
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Like I said, every woman can experience all four of these orgasms. But I’m not saying it’s easy to get there. There are several things that could hold a woman back from feeling the deeper, vaginal orgasms. They require being fully relaxed, which is difficult, especially if another person is present, so it can require some emotional work. If a woman has unresolved sexual blocks—trauma, unhealed relationship issues—these could hinder her sexual expression as well. In additional to talk therapy, there are many natural aides to help remove blocks (like my Anami Crystal Elixirs).
Tools also help: I designed a line of couture, hand-blown glass dildos called The Holy Trinity to help women achieve these four different types of orgasms. Each piece is shaped to access a specific area of the vagina, like the G-Spot or cervix.
And like any muscle, the vagina needs to be trained. Having a weak vagina is one of the most common reasons why women don’t experience deep or multiple orgasms. I’m such a proponent of vaginal strengthening because it wakes up the vagina, creates articulation, and increases a woman’s orgasmic potential.
Part of my sexual philosophy for women is why have one when you can have many? The more orgasms you have, the more relaxed and rejuvenated you feel. Think of your orgasms as part of your wellness routine. All women are multi-orgasmic, and all women are able to experience multiple types of orgasms. They just need the right tools, knowledge, and drive.
In other words, if you build it, she will come.