Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II, is not amused by your ginger beard, Prince Harry. Nope, not one bit.
She doesn’t find it becoming, appropriate, or acceptable. She think’s it’s slovenly. A side effect of living life as a destitute flaneur, and she’d like it gone, please. Sooner rather than later.
Harry let his scruff develop into a full-blown beard early last month while participating in the Walking With the Wounded charity hike in the South Pole. But due to the positive response of the younger royals over the holidays (methinks that commoner Kate is behind all this), he declared that he was considering keeping it—cue the Hairy/Harry puns. But that’s when the Queen stepped in and was like nuh-uh and a royal quarrel broke out that shattered the family to its core and threatened to uproot the very monarchy itself. Maybe.
Here’s the thing, the Queen doesn’t approve of the staff having beards, and how ever shall she ask them to shave when her own grandson is padding around the palace with a Duck Dynasty-approved chin forest? This sht is seriously right out of an episode of Downton Abbey.
Anyway, what the Queen says goes, so Harry is going to show his latest piece the beard and then it will disappear hence forth. Long live the Queen.
[H/T: Daily Express]