sex and the city

As you likely know, “golden showers” are trending after Buzzfeed News published a certain unverified document compiled by a former British intelligence officer which, predictably, spawned a host of Trump-related memes, as the term #GoldenShowers proceeded to trend on Twitter. The Trump campaign denied and denounced it, but this story is great for those of us in the kink community who are passionate about golden-shower visibility and golden-shower awareness. There are many people in the world today who are suffering the marginalization of urine fetishism—the struggle is real, people. Let’s make America a safe space for golden showers—and all kinks!

To be clear, a “golden shower” is a term used in the kink community to describe the erotic act of someone being urinated on by a person (or group of people). This can include peeing onto someone’s body, onto their genitals, or into their mouth to be swallowed (or gargled if you’re hardcore.) The “shower” part specifically indicates that someone is being urinated on, whereas any other form of non-showered urine sex stuff would fall into the category of “piss play” (like the time I made a smoothie with almond milk, chia seeds, kale, and my own urine, and then sold it to a man from Craigslist for $100—that’s piss play).

I’m not here to kink-shame anyone, à la Carrie Bradshaw in that Sex and the City episode where she uses her column to publicly humiliate the city councilman she’s dating after he asks her to pee on him. (As the Vogue-beloved Instagram account @everyoutfitonSATC pointed out, “Who knew that Carrie’s infamous ‘To Pee or Not to Pee’ column from 2000 would be just as relevant in 2017?”—followed by the genius hashtag #MakeAmericaGoldenAgain). It’s funny—we live in a time where society is becoming increasingly accepting of alternative sex practices, including BDSM, yet at the same time, if a public figure is said to enjoy golden showers, it becomes a potential scandal. That’s hypocrisy right there.

To find out more about what type of person is into golden showers, I called up my friend Mistress Darcy. She’s been a pro dominatrix for eight years, and is now one of the most respected dommes in the New York kink community. Darcy noted that making fun of golden showers demeans the BDSM community and devalues sexual freedom, adding, “This is the first redeeming thing I’ve heard about Donald Trump.”

Darcy told me that, generally speaking, people who enjoy golden showers can be broken down into three main categories:

1) People who have an association with urine either from an early sexual memory, or from an early love bonding memory—for instance, during potty training—that later became sexualized.

2) People who have created a bond with their partner through urination play. Darcy told me, “Doing this for the first time with someone who you’re dating is very intense—it’s a bonding experience, and creates intimacy. It’s a way to have an exciting or maybe scary experience with someone, and come out the other side closer than you were before.”

3) People who are drawn to the “filth” aspect of golden showers. These are usually submissives who already have an interest in sexual humiliation and degradation, and being pissed on becomes an extension of that. This category also includes “human toilets”—so people whose fantasy is specifically to be a toilet for a dominant.

According to Darcy, “Golden showers are an aquired taste. It’s kind of like calamari: You might think it’s disgusting, but have you ever tried it? Golden showers are basically the calamari of the kink community.” For a lot of people, golden showers are just an alternative way of being intimate with someone. Darcy told me, “I’m a dominant, which means I’m usually the one doing the peeing, but if Channing Tatum wanted to pee on me, I’d be like, Yeah, go.”

Darcy also noted that it’s rare to meet someone who has a kink only for golden showers, meaning that someone who is into piss play will likely have other kinks as well. “You can sexualize anything,” she said. “It’s just about building a bridge in the brain that wraps a certain activity or object in a cloak of eroticism.” The more you know.

P.S. Mistress Darcy wants the Trump administration to know that she will happily offer free BDSM sessions to the president-elect and his cabinet.

 

The post Make America Golden Shower Again? A Professional Dominatrix Weighs In appeared first on Vogue.